Have you patched a bicycle inner tube lately? I remember getting my flat bicycle tires fixed as a kid. The repairman used “vulcanization”. This was way before Star Trek, so it had nothing to do with Dr. Spock. It was a process of attaching a rubber patch on the inner tube using glue and friction. He had this tool that resembled a spur that he ran back and forth over the patch to create friction and to completely secure the patch to the tube. If he skipped the friction, the chance of that patch holding for long wasn’t very good. The point is, that every strong bond has to have a little friction.
The same thing is true in our relationships. Whether it’s with your marriage, your work, or your kids, there’s going to be friction. The friction, or conflict, can either serve to create a stronger bond, or it can ruin them. It all depends on using the right “vulcanization” process. Becoming skilled at resolving conflict is harder than learning to fix a flat, but the process is similar. First, identify the problem and focus on that. A tire may be in excellent condition otherwise. It’s just a small hole in one spot that’s causing the tire to go flat. Don’t try to fix places that are still in good shape! Next, examine the extent of the damage and make sure the patch is adequate. A big conflict is going to take a larger patch and more effort to resolve than a small one. It may be helpful to get someone involved that knows how to fix flats. Sometimes, doing it on your own can just make it worse. Remember, friction can be good. The bonds you form that become strongest are usually the result of some friction, not the lack of it. May all your relationships be airtight today! |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
May 2016
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